


I Need My Heart, I Trust You

by QueenoftheWallflowers



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin are Best Friends, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin Angst, Endgame Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, F/M, Fix-It, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I cried the entire I wrote this, Red Sun Toxin, bellarke s7 fix it, the 100 s7ep13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:59:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26388313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenoftheWallflowers/pseuds/QueenoftheWallflowers
Summary: s7ep13 FIX IT- Bellamy and Clarke go get the flame together
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 18
Kudos: 55





	I Need My Heart, I Trust You

Clarke tries to ignore the man trailing after her.  
But it's hard when for years he's always been by her side.  
Having him behind her didn't feel right.  
For years, she and Bellamy had always been in step, leaders.  
Now they were....she didn't know what they were anymore.  
They weren't together anymore.

Bellamy follows Clarke, it's odd not to be in step with her.  
But he's not sure if he's welcomes next to her.  
He longs to be near her even though he knows he shouldn't.  
He longs to have her in his arms, to have her trust, he though he knows he shouldn't want the first one and that the second one was wishful thinking.  
He was trying to save them all.  
Just like how she saved them in the City of Light.  
He hadn't believed her then but he had stood by her, he had held her hand but she couldn't even look at him.  
It hurt.

* * *

The house is beautiful. It's simple and homey and Bellamy loves it.  
It reminds him of the house from that one movie he saw on the Ark, the couple had kissed on the porch, smiling.  
Clarke drops to her knees and Bellamy stands next to her awkwardly.  
She digs her hands through the dirt, letting the coldness seep into her skin as she digs through the dirt.  
Clarke swallows as she realizes that she's choking back tears.  
She didn't think she would be digging through the dirt for the flame, she has hoped that she would be digging through the dirt for the rings one day.  
Bellamy sees Clarke stop digging and she bows her head.  
He drops next to her, his shoulder brushing hers and for a second she forgets where they stand. She rest her head on his shoulder, needing the comfort he always provided her.  
Bellamy tenses when her head hits his shoulder.  
He automatically ducks his head down, her hair tickling his cheek and he sighs.  
The sigh causes her to pull away and Clarke resumes her digging but after a moment Bellamy joins her.  
He has so much to say, but how does he even get her to listen?  
"I don't need your help."  
Her words are angry and Bellamy is reminded of his own words, _I don't need you_  
Those words were an utter lie.  
He needs Clarke.  
He always needed her.  
"I need you to trust me."  
Clarke stops digging and turns to him, she runs a hand through her hair, exspartion on her face.  
"Trust you? How am I supposed to trust you?"  
"The way I trusted you! At the City of Lights. I had my doubts on everything but I never doubted you, I put my trust in you, not the flame, not Raven, not Becca but you."  
Bellamy has always been one to wear his heart on his sleeve and see him pleading at her, his anger, his desperation for her to trust him clear on his face hurts.  
She wants to believe him but she can't put her people safety in Bill's hands.  
"I don't trust your shepherd."  
She resumes digging her hands, freezing when she sees the ring and takes a breath curling her hands around the box,  
Bellamy's hands cover hers and she shakes at his touch.  
"I'm asking you to trust me."  
His voice is so soft and suddenly she is back in the lab in earth, trying to tell him that he needs to use his head not just his heart.  
Her head is telling her that she needs to protect her people, protect Madi, but her heart?  
Her heart is hurting, aching for the man, the stranger who is looking at her with soft brown eyes to trust him.  
She wants to, badly.  
She licks her lips and Bellamy's eyes follow the motion.  
The sirens going off interupt whatever she is about to say.  
"Are those?"  
His eyes reflect the worry and terror she feels in her own.  
"We have to go."  
Bellamy helps her up but she tusg him towards the farm house.  
"We need to get the anti-toxin!"  
Bellamy follows her into the house, his eyes scanning the sky for anything.  
The sun is red, the sky a dark ominous shade and he wishes he had a way to protect them, protect her.  
Clarke shoves them into a bag as Bellamy looks for something to cover their face.  
He manages to find something, its not a lot but it will keep Clarke from breathing in the red sun toxin.  
"Clarke, we need to go now!"  
She nods and she hurries to the door but he catches her hand as she passes him. He wraps the cloth her.  
"Bellamy, you..."  
"Hurry."  
She nods and reaches for his hand, and together they run outside.  
They don't have a lot of time and Clarke's heart is pounding.  
She needs to get to Madi but she also needs to get Bellamy out of the toxin.  
She remembers all too well what happened last time.  
Bellamy pulls his hand out of hers and leans foward breathing hard.  
He can already feel the affects of the toxin.  
However, this time it's not Clarke but his mother- telling him she's disappointed in him.  
Clarke can see from the way Bellamy looks through her, from the sweat on his face that he's being affected by the toxin and she digs through the bag to hold the mask to his face.  
"Bellamy."  
He shakes his head and pushes her away.  
"Save it. Go! Save Madi"  
He staggers away and Clarke runs after him and wraps an arm around him, helping him towards the everyone.  
She's not leaving.  
"Bellamy! I need you to focus on me.Talk to me!  
Bellamy shakes his head, his mother has been joined by his sister, telling him that they are disappointed in him, that he failed them that he failed evryone.  
"Bellamy! Convince me! Convince me to trust you."  
"Why? You don't need me."  
His voice is soft, lost and Clarke hates it.  
She shoves him through the closest door and he takes a deep staggering breath.  
She presses him aganist the wall and holds the mask to his face and he covers her hand with his, taking in a deep breath.  
"I do need you. I need the man who stood by, who helped pull a lever with me, who trusted me even when the odds were aganist us..."  
As she speaks it hits her how badly she needs him and what he is asking of her.  
"I need my best friend."  
He pushes the mask away from his face.  
"I'm your best friend?"  
He sounds so surprise and Clarke feels bad that she has never verbalize what he means to her.  
"You Bellamy Blake are my heart."  
_I love you_  
Clarke's blue eyes are soft and Bellamy swallows.  
Suddenly the cause seems far away, it seems hard to believe when he has Clarke Griffin looking at him, telling him that he's her heart.  
_I've got you for that_  
But they have no time for any other words, they can hear the bugs.  
"We need to get to Madi."  
They tear through Santcum hand in hand searching for the others.

Bellamy drops Clarke's hand when Steve looks at them. His Shepherd is too intent on looking at Clarke to notice him but Steve.  
Bellamy takes his place next to the shepherd and as Clarke stands there making sure that everyone has taken the anti-toxin, eyes hard on Bill demanding that he opens the door for her daughter that Bellamy is struck with the realization that this is wrong.  
He should be next to Clarke, standing next to her, getting ready to protect Madi to get to the others.  


* * *

The next few mintues are a blur, Madi comes out with the others and Emori hugs Bellamy, her eyes and voice soft, kind as she looks at him, not mocking his clothles.  
The others are take the anti-toxin and Raven works on getting the power back on.  
He's standing next to Steve when he feels someone looking at him.  
Her eyes flicker to a spot on the wall, empty of people and he nods.  
He ignores Steve's hand and meets Clarke by the spot.  
They are surrounded by people but all his focus is on her.  
"Tell me what you saw. Tell me what you saw that made you believe."  
"There was a storm and I almost died. Then I saw a light, and my mother was there."  
Clarke crosses her arms, as Bellamy keeps going.  
"She said that she was proud of me, that she loved me. That there was a way to protect everyone for good, no more pain, no more fighting, just peace."  
"How is starting a war peace?"  
She's frustrated, she's not sure how to get through to him.  
What is she supposed to understand? How did Bellamy believe?  
"Clarke, we are ending suffering, we are ending a war."  
"How? By giving up the people we love?"  
"Yes! Clarke you said it yourself, love is weakness."  
Clarke's blood runs cold.  
No.  
No.  
"Love is not weakness."  
Her hands push againist his chest and his hands locks on her.  
"How can it be? When Octavia spent years trying to get back to you? When Dioyza died to save Hope? When Murphy was willing to let me die to save Emori? When Gabriel created the primces for Josie?When you brought me back to life! How is love weakness?"  
She's crying, tears on her cheeks and her fingers are clenching his white uniform.  
She's so close to him, too close.  
She can see every freckle on his face, and the way his lips are parted in shock.  
"How is love weakness."  
He presses his forehead against hers.  
"I was willing to let everyone here burn to save you."  
"I chose you oever the human race."  
"And I spent six years thinkign you are dead."  
"But I'm right there. I called you everyday." She makes the first move, brushing her lips against his softly.  
He lets out a soft gasp and then he's kissing her firmly, one of his hands making it ways to her head, cupping the back of her neck and she presses herself closer.  
Their tears mix with this kiss and Clarke breaks away and closes her eyes.  
"Love is not weakness. You are not weak."  
Bellamy opens his mouth but then Nikki runs out and Clarke runs to check on Raven.  
Needless to save Steve and his Shepherd are not happy but he nods in agreement, thoughts on Clarke.  
He's doing what is right= protecting her, saving her, saving all of them.Right?  


Steve dies and Bellamy doesn't feel anything for him, a hint of sadness but less than he should feel for a brother in arms.  
Clarke plans to leave him behind and it hurts, it hurts that she wants to leave him behind that she wants to put distance between them, especially after everything.  
He watches the others go through and Clarke is looking at him.  
He can't bare to watch her leave so he picks up the sketchbook, thumbing through it.  
It's not Clarke's.  
It's Madi."  
"Bellamy, please?"  
He's torn, this book holds the key to saving everyone but he won't put Madi at risk.  
He can't."  


They argue becasue of course they do.  
"Who would you rather have the book? My Shepherd or Shieheda?"  
"Bellamy give me the book."  
"How are you going to protect Madi? How do you plan to destroy the book when you are around him."  
"I don't know okay! I don't know."  
"Let me come, let me..."  
"I don't need saving!"  
"Let me stand by your side, together."  
He's begging her and Clarke feels powerless, she's hurt and anger that he believes in the cause and angry at herself for kissing him and wanting him by her side.  
Does she listen to her head or her heart?  
She chooses her heart.  
She holds out her hand.  
"Let's go save everyone. I trust you."  
The smile on Bellamy's face lights up the room and he squeezes her hand, sketchbook in his other hand.  
There's a rustle of movment and Bellamy rasies the sketchbook up as they run into the portal.  
The whizz of the bullet of her ear terrifies her and they crash through dropping to the ground, Bellamy on top of her.  
He's breathing.  
He's okay.  
"The bullet?"  
He rolls off her and holds up the notebook, ruined a single bullte hole in it.  
Clarke laughs, turning her body towards him, tucking her face into the crook of his neck.  
He laughs with her, dropping the book to run a hand through her hair, looking at her soflty. "We're back bitches."  
Clarke smiles at the old familar words that serve as reminder as to why they are here.  
"Let's go save our people."  
Bellamy stands up and reaches down to help her up. He picks up the book and Clarke looks at him as he tosses it into the lake.  


* * *

Clarke's not sure how this will work.  
Bellamy believes in the cause but she trusts him, the way he trusted her and that is enough.  
It's enough.  
As they walk hand in hand, step in step to find the others Clarke looks at him and when she finds him looking at her already she knows that it's enough.  
Her trust, herlove for him and his trust, his love for her is enough.  


**Author's Note:**

> I told myself ealier today that I wasn't going to be posting anything this week because I'm super busy and I need to get some WIP/commissioned fics done.  
> But after sobbing for two hours, sobbing again in the shower, and sobbing on and off on zoom, fuled by sobs and spiked hot chocolate this was born. 
> 
> this is fully unedited as it is 5 am.
> 
> sending so so much love to everyone.


End file.
